Can you get to a Future, If your Past is still Present???


Can you get to your Future, If your Past is still Present???

     So, you’ve made the decision that you are at least contemplating rewriting the script of your life…now what?

Well, I’m glad you asked…In a nutshell, it is time to write ACT 1 SCENE 1 of the new script of your life!  In my case, I have decided to choose a new Theme for the script of my life in one word.  I wanted one word to describe everything I have ever wanted to be.  At 59, I finally chose the theme word for my new scripts…are you ready for it???


Yup, you heard me right.  Now many of you my faithful, blog followers, (All 3 of you, lol), my friends and family and acquaintances, if you by the off chance ever read this, would probably be saying, “What the heck is she talking about?” lolol

When you decide that it’s time to rewrite the story you are telling yourself and the people in your immediate circles, to something more wonderful, more fun, adventurous, spontaneous and fulfilling, you will begin to change your path to fulfill your desires. 

So, what is a BadASS you ask???  Well I’m glad you asked and I would like to give you a sneak peak of my description of a BadASS from my new book coming out in the Spring of 2021.  Here it is,

Chapter 1:  What Is a BadASS???

Have you ever…

asked yourself what exactly does it mean to be a BadAss???  Well I’m glad you asked.  Some would rather call it being your true authentic self, and they would not be wrong.  However, I prefer to call it being your BadASS Self.  Not only does it sound self-confident, it conjures up a slightly different feeling that I could best describe as being “Empowered”.  Here are some of the qualities that BadASSes possess. 

  1. BadASSes don’t need validation from anyone.
  2. BadASSes rarely ask anyone else for their opinion on how they should handle situations.
  3. BadASSes only answer to their Inner Being which is the Boss.
  4. BadASSes look at the world through their own rose-colored glasses.
  5. BadAsses choose to see the good in everything.
  6. BadASSes live in the moment.
  7. BadASSes go with the flow.
  8. BadASSes are fun.
  9. BadASSes feel joyful, enthusiastic and Invincible.
  10. BadASSes are charismatic and attract people like magnets.
  11. BadASSes know who they are, their purpose in life, and are humble.
  12. BadASSes love themselves and everyone else for who they are.
  13. BadASSes are Free to be, have or do anything they desire.” 

Now, lets take on the new persona and start Daydreaming Your Best Life shall we.

Daydreaming Your Best Life

Choose to be in charge of what you write into your script, write only the things you want, and you will start to have fun.  Find a comfy place where you will be undisturbed and give yourself permission to daydream your perfect life.  Get “tuned in, tapped in and turned on” knowing that you can be, have or do anything you want, as Abraham Hicks says.  There is NO ONE telling you that you can’t have ANYTHING.  In your world, you are the boss and the only one that matters!  When I’m daydreaming, I feel Invincible!!!  It took me a while before I freely gave myself permission to daydream until I realized how important it is for you to know what you want, because how can the Universe give you what you want, if you don’t even know what to ask for???  Be specific enough without being too specific.  In other words, if you are looking for a new lover, don’t just ask the Universe for a new lover and leave it at that…because you could end up with Uncle Charlies, 3rd cousin Marvin, lol, and believe me, you don’t want Uncle Charlies 3rd Cousin Marvin.  You know what you want, and you know this because you know exactly what you don’t want…right?  So, dream up your lover that has qualities that you like.

Does Spending time with yourself Freak you out???

I used to find myself distracting myself by watching mindless sitcoms and searching social media for hours for entertainment, until one day a number of years ago, I just realized how much time I was wasting for no real purpose.  It wasn’t like I was watching something I could learn from on TV or on the internet, so I just stopped doing it.  I just started sitting in a comfortable chair or I would take my famous 2 hour baths and would dream about what kinds of things made me happy.   I realized only recently, that for the first time in a very long time, it felt so freeing and wonderful to spend time with myself.  In fact, no wonder others like to spend time with me…I’m a fun hang, LOL.  Giving myself permission to dream up what I wanted the new me to look like and then getting to write the new script, is my dream come true, yippee!  I’m so excited because I know a lot more now of what I don’t want, which gives me clarity about what I do want.  So, I’m going to share with you my version of ACT 1 SCENE 1 of my new script and then I want you to give yourself permission to daydream your own script of the new you.  Feel free to name the Movie/Play whatever you want. I have chosen the title of my Movie. 

The Zany Life of Art Girl


Michelle Stevens


Character #1 – Michelle Stevens aka Art Girl

Character #2 – April Stevens aka LameApril


Life in the small town of Hanford, California, just before the big move back home to Tampa Bay Florida.


December 25, just 6 days before the last day of the Zaniest year in the history of mankind, the year 2020.


Scene 1                 Home Alone with my daughter April on Christmas.

So, here we were, home alone for the first time ever, with no one to dictate anything we did.  Do you want to know what we did???  We got up at noon, because, well…we could.  She got me a gorgeous bling license plate holder to go with my new BadASS persona.  I got her a VR headset which she really wanted since she is a Twitch Gaming streamer, called LameApril.  We made Christmas cookies and ate them, we watched a marathon of Sex and the City, we had rib eye steaks on the grill with baked potatoes and salad, I had a bottle of Pinot Noir, we watched a concert online in her bedroom with the most amazing talented American pop trio band AJR.  They write, produce, and mix their own material in the living room of their apartment.  They produced the new hot single “Bang!” which is one of my favorite new songs.  Then she introduced me to the world of VR and OMG!!!  She showed me this new game she got called “SUPERHOT” and I want to tell you that when you are in these games with your headset on, you cannot see your room and, in this case, it was my daughter’s bedroom.  You are instantly transformed into another reality and in this game, you are a SUPERHOT spy!

My first VR Experience

Your mission in 1st person, is to eliminate all the VR Androids, with whatever weapons you have within your reach.  Here is the twist…time moves only when you move.  The slower you move the more in slow motion you are in that reality.  The faster you move, the more real time you are and believe me, in real time it’s faster than you think.   You must learn to move slowly and cautiously and strategize your every move because they are all aiming at you.  So, here is what happened when I tried…

I moved wayyyy to fast because the adrenaline from being shot at and trying to think fast was way too much for my turtle-like reactions. LOL.  After a few tries being killed within the first 60 seconds, I progressed farther and then I was in this situation where I was facing a firing squad of 3 androids.  I ducked down while the bullets flew over my head and the game became in slow motion.  What was I going to do next, they would surely continue to fire at me and there were no weapons within my reach?  I figured, that they were only a few feet away from me, so what if I got up quickly, ran at one of them, grab his gun, sounds like a good idea right??? WRONG!!! I was so IN the moment of the game, that I got up and I started to run forward and then wait for it…I crashed into my daughters’ desk and fell on top of her computer on the floor, in shock, with my ass hanging up in the air!  I forgot that I was in her bedroom only 4 feet away from her desk, but…it felt soooo real!!!  I ended up with a cut on my knee, a bruise the size of a tomato on my thigh and a major dose of reality hurts…

We decided to call it quits at 3 am and I crawled into my cozy bed only to be woken up 30 minutes later , I guess my fall and all the adrenaline, brewed up a Category 4 tornado in my stomach from all the things we ate and drank all day, and I spent the next 4 hours alternating positions from sitting on to kneeling down by the John OMG!!!It was a Christmas for the books, lol and I would not have changed a thing.  I don’t just tell you that story for your reading enjoyment however, there is a purpose greater that I wish to share with you.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

I spent the whole next day recuperating lazily on the couch still watching the Sex and the City marathon only to be visited by the ghost of Christmas Past.  You know, the Charles Dickens story A Christmas Carol with Ebenezer Scrooge taking a trip down memory lane, well that was me.

As I laid there not feeling well enough to do anything except watch Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte from Sex and the City, I was comparing my life to theirs.  I didn’t remember that Carrie was a writer, I had only seen a few episodes since it was during my no more watching TV days, LOL.  And then it hit me like a ton of bricks when Carrie, the writer, wrote about 2 things.  She typed, “Can we have it All?”  and “Can you get to your Future, If your Past is still Present???”, which happens to be the title of this week’s blog.

I recently made a decision to put myself first, write my book and reinvent myself.  I removed myself from a committed relationship of 3 years to commit myself to me for a while and I have to say it is Liberating.  However, I still have strings attached to me, you know the kind that you make when you share expenses and a house as a couple, and then you break-up.  Well, I thought about her question, “Can you get to your Future, If your Past is still Present?” something quite unexpectedly clicked on in my brain.  Here I was, excitedly trying out this new version of me that I’m still in the process of creating.  Art Girl, that’s me, she’s a BadASS single, artist, writer, living a life of freedom to be, have or do anything she wants only…What do you do when your Past is still Present and trying to draw you back into the Past and not allowing you to move Forward into your Future? 

The Ghost of Christmas Past, showed me that since the age of about 14 years old, I have been the Best Darn People Pleaser that ever lived!!!  If they had a People Pleaser Award, I would be 1st in line to receive my award for 45 Years of putting everyone else first so that they could feel the worthiness that I could see they deserved.  They all graciously accepted my wonderful people pleasing skills and why wouldn’t they, I allowed them to because it felt good help others reach their true potential and tap into their bliss until invariably it always ended the same way, unfulfilling, smothering and draining for me because I was busy fulfilling their dreams and not my own.  There was this old belief that I had wrongly believed since I was a teenager that said that you don’t want to be a showoff, or a braggart or have a large ego about how good you are, at doing almost everything you have ever tried, because then people won’t like you.  So, I guess I began to invest my efforts into making other people’s dreams come true and now that I am aware that that belief is so totally wrong, I am going to make my own dreams come true.

A Little Experiment

Unwittingly, I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone in my circle.  In fact, my illness gave me the perfect excuse to do a little test about, how much of your past is still present.  I decided on Christmas Day to enjoy the day with my daughter and answered no calls or texts the whole day.  Now, Day 2, I decided to see what would happen if I went into silent mode for another 24 hours?  Would my Past hound me, wondering why I won’t respond?  Or would my Past leave me alone?

After a full 48 hours, here were the results…

16 phone calls, 9 Messenger Video Calls, 3 Instagram messages, 1 e-mail, 7 texts, 1 voicemail, and 3 live visits to my door unanswered…from 4 men, friends that I have dated at one time or another.

I was kinda mad…at myself… for allowing there to still be strings.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stringing any of them along, I have been completely honest that I want to be free from any committed relationships right now.  I’m enjoying me, first, for a change.  So, my question still lies with the title of this week’s blog, “Can you get to your Future, if your Past is still your Present?”  Does it take completely cutting yourself off from people who keep trying to pull you back into your Past?

The answer to that question is in Part II:  Tuning Into Your Emotional Vibration, of my book I’m writing right now, that I plan to release in the Spring of 2021.  It is all about how thoughts make you feel and putting how you feel emotionally, the #1 priority in your life.  The quickest way to answer the question, “Can you get to your Future, if your Past is still Present?”, is, how do you feel when your Past is right in front of you?  Do you feel that your privacy boundaries have been breached?  Do you feel smothered?  Do you feel pressured into feeling guilty because they did something nice for you?   Do you feel like you have to explain yourself even when you don’t want to?  Or do you feel happy they care about you? But, are there are strings attached to their caring behaviors?  Any Red Flags Flying?  Whatever you are feeling, be honest with yourself.  If you don’t feel good about it, then you have no other choice then to separate yourself as much as possible from them or you will delay your Future slipping back into your old People Pleasing Habits, and I refuse to feel shackled any more by that behavior in me. 

Well, I hope you enjoyed this week’s adventure blog from, “The Zany Life of Art Girl.”  Stay tuned for my next blog post, where I would like to continue sharing with you how we will be “Rewriting the Script” of our lives.  Until then, Art Girl signing out and remember my motto, “Let It Go Let It Flow”.  Peace and love my fellow Co-Creators.

~Michelle Stevens aka Art Girl